When 9/11 happened everyone asked, “Why do they hate us?” There was a war going and everyone was asking, what we ever did to them to make them hate us so. Even people who knew that it was a 70 year game of chess between the Communists and the West, with the Middle Eastern people as pawns and the oil as the prize, even those people were asking.
People saw that hate and said, WHY?
That’s what people do when they see hate. The question then is, if misogyny is really hatred, why isn’t anyone asking why?
There is some serious anger toward women in the millennial generation. It’s an anger that isn’t there in previous generations of American men. GenX has some casual misogyny issues; it’s true, but no true hatred of women. In fact I’d say that true hatred of women, as the name misogyny implies, hasn’t existed before now.
Let’s make bumper stickers out of the opposition to the 3 waves of feminism, and see where the “hatred of women” is
Clearly the undertone in this era was women don’t really think and therefore they shouldn’t vote. Women are inferior intellectually and giving them the right to vote will take rationality out of politics. It’s not a hatred of women, but it’s clearly a view as women as being less than a man.
The undertone here is still we can’t send women to Vietnam, because they are too weak to handle it. There are natural disadvantages women have and we need to protect our women. Still it’s basically the same thing, men are better than women, but there isn’t any hatred per se.
Here is the change in undertone. On the face it appears egalitarian. Men say, why do we need feminism, why can’t we have humanism? What they are often thinking is, why do these bitches get special consideration in EVERYTHING?
It’s the first time any real hatred rears its head and it’s only going to get worse. This is a new kind of gender animosity too, it’s not like the women in the 70′s chanting about gender oppression, it’s a slow quiet burn that grows into resentment.
When GenX was in school we started seeing the shift. We grew up when playground rules were still boys will be boys. The girls got special treatment, but the boys also got special treatment, because boys and girls are different. No matter how much people want to believe that all gender differences are caused by role assignment by a patriarchal conspiracy, that’s not the case. Boys brains and girls brains are different even in utero.
What we’re seeing now is the result of a whole generation of young men who have been disenfranchised by women. The average man today grew up without a father in the household, few if any male role models in the educational system which is designed and run by women. A system in which traditional ideas of gender roles have been abandoned. That may not be bad in and of itself, but when it’s structured in a way that is advantageous to one sex above the other, there are going to be problems.
When boys act in traditionally male behavior such as being distracted or boisterous they are labeled hyperactive and are medicated. Boys are mediated for behavioral issues at five times the rate of girls. When displaying actual symptoms of hyperactivity such as impulsivity, they are suspended or expelled. Boys are expelled and suspended at twice the rate of girls.
With numbers like this, either boys and girls being treated the same is disadvantageous to boys, or something much bigger is going on.
There is clearly an anti-male bias in the system based on a system of false assumptions about male privilege. For example a common complaint about women’s studies types is that boys are called on in class disproportionately during math class, and because boys “do better” in math, this is clearly because the teachers are building up the boys. This is the kind of nonsense that appears when the world is viewed through a non-objective lens, such as feminism. Once it’s discarded it’s easier to see the real factors in play. Boys have a wider distribution in math skills. The best students and the worst students are mostly boys. If gender were removed and it was said “Teachers tend to call on average students less than gifted students and struggling students” no one would be surprised. As for the wider distribution, boys are going to be disproportionately represented in both groups, especially the struggling group. Teachers are being told to be more conscious of gender and in doing so are less conscious of other factors.
If there is a male privilege there is certainly a parallel female privilege, which has always existed. In the past the female privilege was arguably not comparable, but things have changed. Now men have to deal with a suicide rate that is 6 times higher, a homeless rate that dwarfs that of women, shorter life span, higher likelihood of being a victim of violent crime, more likely to be a victim of domestic violence, and a victim of severe domestic violence, more likely to be convicted of a crime, and serve longer sentences for similar crimes as compared to women, are underrepresented in college enrollment, are less statistically likely to graduate college once enrolled. Men are more likely to be alcoholics, and women are more likely to engage in hypergamy and keep half of the marital assets upon divorce. Some people would say that marital assets are fairly distributed due to gender wage gaps, but when the numbers are fairly addressed the gender wage gap seems to shrink into low single digit numbers. Incidentally this is why women think men “fear commitment” but men’s fear of inequitable and antiquated divorce laws that assume a woman is incapable of earning a living is a related topic, but a tangent nonetheless.
The point is there is a growing undercurrent of men who feel that women are the enemy. They feel this because women tell them that they are enemies. Feminists call the system “patriarchal” and declare men to be the opposition, and then are genuinely indignant when accused of misandry. It’s this two faced nature, this opposition to the double standard when it benefits men, while supporting it when it benefits women.
Now all that aside, it’s the attitude. Men know what they are realistically going to grow up to be. They look at their uncles and their mother’s boyfriends and people in their socioeconomic group, and they know about what they can expect. If he looks around and sees board members of fortune 500 companies, he’s in a very distinct minority within men in general. if more likely he sees mechanics and factory workers, pointing out to him that he is the same gender of fortune 500 CEOs and therefore he’s privileged isn’t going to win any arguments.
Selected on a desirability scale, you get someone who knows this, but has been taught by society to keep quiet about it. That causes a burning hatred of women that is going to surface in places like 4chan and reddit where they can hide. They are the canaries, though. They are the lower tier men, but they are an indicator. When the only thing holding these guys back from overt misogyny, real misogyny, not offering to lift a heavy box for a woman at work is social desirability there is a looming societal problem on the horizon.
What we need to do is stop vilifying men. Stop vilifying male sexuality, stop calling men the enemy. The so called “patriarchy” certainly isn’t any better for men than it is for women, and replacing it with “matriarchy” isn’t the answer.